angst

It is entirely possible that Waylon is experiencing a degree of separation anxiety at the moment. Clarity: He has been staying in the nursery at church for the last couple of months. It's nice. It gives Joey and I the opportunity to be grown-ups together, alone for about 45 minutes. We get to sit in church together, undisturbed, focused, like we used to. I am a big fan of our church nursery. They are super nice, thorough and clean. Not to mention the fact that they have a police officer standing guard through all three services. Secure.

For the last, say, four times that we've taken Waylon to the nursery it hasn't gone well. First, when we picked him up he was crying, supposedly, because Miles was having a bottle and he wasn't. (Waylon wouldn't know what to do with a bottle if you gave him one. Not the issue.) It was funny that day, though. We talked about Miles and the bottle on the way home - that we should love Miles anyway, bottle-schmottle we said. Now we talk about Miles every Sunday on the way to church, like we know who the kid is and he and Waylon are good friends. We couldn't pick him out of a line-up. ha.

Next, I went to pick him up and Nursery Lady was walking around the halls with him, crying. He was, not Nursery Lady. She said he had been crying on and off for the last 30 minutes. He flew to me. Oh, how it broke my heart.

Then, I drop him off and he starts crying the moment he lands in Nursery Lady's arms. I duck away as quickly as possible and wait around the corner to see if he's going to relax. He doesn't. He sees me. It's all over. I take him to the Mothers' Room for the remainder of the service. (Which was actually kind of nice. We used to have our own little play group in there on Sunday mornings and we miss those kids.)

Yesterday, Joey and I drop him off together, crying commences at hand-off and we high-tail it down the hall. I don't know about this. Everything in me says Turn around. Go back to him and love on him. You don't have to leave him. But we do. I am tense for the next 45 minutes. I know, my inner mama knows that it's not going well in there. I am watching the screen intensely, waiting for our number to pop up, giving me the go-ahead, the green flag to race to the nursery and rescue him. It doesn't. Amazing. We go to pick him up and he's sitting on the floor (not alone, with a few others), crying. They weren't. He was. Facing the door, red eyes, snotty nose, can't-catch-his-breath, crying. He sees me and Joey and I can read his mind. It's not good. I hate the way I feel. There were too many babies per Nursery Lady. They were all busy. No one was getting him for me. My hand was on the knob, ready to get him for myself, when a Nursery Lady extra stepped in. Just in time. It was all I could do to just stand there and watch him cry.

I don't know what the solution is to the dilemma. I haven't read a lot on separation anxiety. What I do know is that it did not feel right to leave him while he was crying, watching us walk away, ignoring him. I am not okay with that. I don't want Waylon to think that crying gets him what he wants. It doesn't work like that at home. But, isn't this a particularly sensitive time/subject? Shouldn't we handle this a little differently than, say, another bite of ice cream or another m&m? Isn't this different from the camera, or my phone, or the remote control, or any other 'toy' he's not supposed to play with? Isn't there a way to be a little more tender and compassionate and sensitive and love him through this, when he appears to need us a little more than usual? Won't this phase not last very long and then he won't want anything to do with us? Let's be honest. Waylon has been the most ideal baby. I couldn't have dreamed up a better kid. He's allowed to be a little nervous around strangers. I just can not bring myself to accept, mentally or emotionally, looking him in the tear-filled eye and walking away when I don't have to. It's church nursery, for crying out loud.

No pun intended.

these knees are made for crawling

chubby feet

Lolly and Mama having too much fun with a shower cap.

Lolly and her boys.

smush face

sweetest Mama sugar

stander

walking Grandpa

close-up

Just vacuumed and mopped (for the second time this week) wearing from the toe up, flip-flops, undies, nursing bra with paper towels stuck underneath (for sweat, not milk) and pearls. Pretty. Reminds me of the time I was cleaning the shower (bird #1) whilst taking a shower (bird #2), thinking I was home alone - except for Waylon, of course. Joey busted me - yellow rubber glove, sponge and shower cap. Sexy. This may be too much information, but it made me stop and laugh.

This has been an eventful month. No wonder I've only blogged once. Waylon is officially a crawler. He is a man on the move. After he crawled accidentally on July Fourth, it took him a week or so to go again. It's been non-stop since. He follows me around the house. He pulls up on everything. He walks along furniture, and even from furniture to furniture. He is obsessed with danger; he wants to play on the brick hearth, in the actual fireplace, on the only metal/glass-top table in the whole house, in his diaper bucket. It's so tricky, too, because I don't know how to train a kid. I can train a dog, but kids are harder. I don't want to yell at him or spank him or scare him. I just want to teach him. And I really don't want to baby-proof my whole life. I would rather Waylon learn boundaries. I think he can do it. I think we can do it.

I finally broke down and bought a bumper for Waylon's crib. (Kind of late, I know.) But, come to find out, he was burrowing right into the rails and waking himself up. You know that can't be comfortable. Ever since the bumper installation, he has been sleeping like a you-know-what. Until last night...

He woke up crying at 11:30. I turned on the monitor to make sure he was ok and watch to see if he would settle back down. He usually does. He didn't. I went in to help him and he did not want me to leave, to say the least. I rocked him for a minute, which I usually do not do at night. Thought he was asleep, put him back, he loses it. I get him back up and try again. Same thing. So we go to the guest room to lie down together. He is awake. Just awake. Not upset (I guess cause he's with me). He just lay there, blinking, playing with my face. He finally fell asleep. I did, too. I don't know how long we slept, but at 3:00 this morning, I oh-so-carefully transferred him to his crib again and collapsed back in home-sweet-bed. He woke this morning at 6:00 (which is an hour early) crying. Put him back in bed with me and we slept 'til 8:00. Shew.

This is pretty much never happened before. Waylon has always slept through the night...I mean, since he started sleeping through the night. I think he may be working on tooth #9. We'll see soon enough, I suppose. Kyle asked me if I was taking it easy today. I said Goodness, yes. If laundry, vacuum, mop, shower, chase baby is easy. Yes.

It has been such a fun, big month for us around here. I was right, by the way. It is much easier now that Waylon can crawl than it was when he would just sit in the floor and cry until I would come walk him around the house. Slightly more dangerous, but easier. I think he'll be walking soon. I can't imagine...

double-digit dub

This is the third day that Waylon has been 10 months old and already it's a whole new ball game. There are several 'firsts' that popped up this past weekend. Lolly was here for a few days (of non-stop fun) which probably has everything to do with it. Waylon really likes debuting new things while Lolly's around. Always has. Either he's trying to impress her or he's fishing for a clappy-bouncy-cheery-Lolly reaction. Probably both. So, Waylon is 10 months old now, and he...

crawls!!! Finally. Let me clarify: he has crawled several times. It's not like a mode of
transportation yet or anything. But he has done it and tries to do it and gets very close
regularly. Joey and I agree that he gets around pretty well for an imobile fellow.

has figured out how to drink from his sippy bottle on his own, and man does he love to turn that
bottle up. What's really funny is that he likes to carry it around and chew and suck on the
nipple. Well, get him up on his crazy legs, turning that bottle up with one hand and it looks like
he's been turning up the bottle a little too much, if you know what I mean. Grandpa said he
looks like a drunken sailor.

turns the page for me when we're reading

was sitting up waiting for his valiant crib-rescue at nap's end for the first time (adorable)

said 'Hi' back to me in the car yesterday. I promise.

zooms around his pool all by himself (well, with the help of his baby float)

waves a little more, not quite all the time

cheers and claps for himself regularly (for eating, crawling, laughing, walking). Should have
little-to-no problem with self-esteem.

loves to stand up all on his own, leaning against the back of the sofa, surrounded by pillows. Has
started this funny game where he falls on me or Joey on purpose, like he's 'getting' us.

is falling more and more in love with his grandparents with every visit. Our visits this past
month involved significantly more favor and affection toward every grandparent than they
ever have before. And Joey and I both love it. It is so precious.

has been tongue-kissed by Brock more than a couple of times, much to my disgust and horror.
He loves to walk through the kitchen because the dogs swarm and dance around us hoping for
a stray pat on the back. Whenever one gets near Waylon, he pulls his arms in as if to protect
himself and opens his mouth as if he's being doused with ice water. Brock takes this as his cue
to kiss every time. yech.

only wants to walk. Ever. Pitches a screaming-Mimi fit if he is sat down prematurely. He will run
if he gets really excited, but stops dead in his tracks if you take a hand away, like he can't do it
without two hands.

is staying up longer and napping longer. Officially only two naps now, as of this past weekend.
Mom convinced me that he really is probably getting as much sleep as he needs, even from
one morning nap and a long car ride.

still blows everyone away with his ease, good nature, patience and overall 'good babyness'

still nurses four times a day and has three regular meals. Some of his favorite foods now are
(still) tomato, berries, toast, chick peas, squash. Wait. These are the same favorite foods he's
had for a while. Perhaps it's time to broaden his culinary horizon.

We did have a minor incident involving Mexican food that I will never live down. It was ugly. I'll spare you the details.

Everyone agrees that he is changing and getting more adorable by the day. I agree with everyone. He is so much fun! We giggle and belly-laugh all day long (minus the sit-down melt-downs). It's like we have inside jokes. Maybe we do.