addendum

One more thing I told those girls...

You really know more than you give yourself credit for. What are you really feeling? What do you really think? I was born to be Waylon's mother. Every part of my life leading up to him has been in preparation for him. There were so many times...and really still are... that my instinct (some call this the Holy Spirit ;)) tells me to do or not do one thing or another. And there have been so many times that I have denied it in order to stick to something I had read. Follow your lead. Listen to yourself. You feel and think those things for a reason.

Also, I tend to think in extremes. I am so afraid that if one aspect of our day gets off track that the whole day will fall apart, which leads to the next day falling apart and then the whole week is out of whack, which makes the month rather shakey and the next thing you know, Waylon's in therapy because his whole life has been so out of control. Like the demise of a house of cards... or Jenga. This has been the spark of more than one anxiety attacks for me. I am short of breath as I type. I think this is really why I haven't left Waylon for longer than an hour yet...his whole life. I am beyond blessed to not HAVE to leave him, and I don't WANT to leave him.

I think it was Thoreau that said, 'Our truest life is when we are in dreams, awake.'

Let me reiterate. This is it for me.

a funny thing

This is so funny to me. If you have known me for at least 6 months, you know that I really really struggled with this whole baby thing in the beginning. And, when I say beginning, I mean like the first, oh, four months. There are about a million parenting philosphies out there, but I chose to follow BabyWise. It's all about schedule and routine and parent-directed feeding and a baby that sleeps through the night by eight weeks. Sign me up!

Well, it was h-a-r-d. Oh, there are so many things I could say to this. I was frusterated. Breast-feeding didn't initially work. I couldn't keep Waylon awake long enough to get the full feeding the book said he needed. It took him to 10 weeks to finally sleep through the night and even then, he woke up several times.

It's so crazy, now that I'm trying to list all the ways it was sooo hard, I can't think of any. But, trust me. I had a hard time. I wanted things to be exactly like all the books I had read in preparation said they would be. And they weren't. Nothing was. And I felt like I was failing. Or Waylon was failing. Bless his little heart, I was so hard on him in those first months.

We changed some things. Let go of a lot. We got it together and now it's positively dreamy. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is to not put too much bank in books. Each parenting book should start with a disclaimer: 'We're glad you purchased this book. Please know that by simply reading this book, you are not guaranteed an ideal outcome. Really, we can not guarantee you anything. You will read this. You will believe what you are reading is real. And you will think you are crazy when nothing happens like what you have read. Happy reading! Look for our follow up book -'Raising the Perfect Toddler.' That's what they should say. Every last one of them.

There is such a perfect picture painted of the first months of a baby's life. It is supposedly intimate and sweet and peaceful and whispery. The hazey new mother adjusts to sleepless nights naturally and with grace. The baby opens wide its tiny mouth and latches to the doting mother's breast with ease. Humming. Rocking. Cooing. Bonding. Lots of bonding.

Well, I'm here to tell you (especially you soon-to-be or already-are new mothers) that it's not always like that. If you're reading this thinking, 'But it was like that for me and my baby...sigh,' then you have not recovered from pregnancy brain and you are in fact completely diluted. No doubt. Don't get me wrong. It is defintely the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am truly living the life I have always dreamed of. But, the beginning was hard. And hard times still sneak in here and there. I mean, we're raising actual people here.

Now to the funny part. I follow this blog 'Chronicles of a BabyWise Mom.' As a BW mom myself, I love it. It's very informative and helpful. But, there was a question posted by a new mom that's struggling a little bit, so (of course) I gave her my two cents. And she asked more questions of me. And then, another mom asked me questions. So, here I am, giving BW advice to questioning moms. Is that funny to you?

Joey said he was going to write a new parenting book - The How to Raise a Baby Without a Book Book. I told him, I'd probably read that one, too!

something new

I have to let you know that Joey and I are trying something new with our menu this week. See, I am more of a casserole, mixy eater. Joey is more of a meat and three kind of guy. So, we decided to have a whole week of meat-and-twos. We thought this actually might save us some money. Come to find out, it did. I went to the grocery yesterday (Wal Mart...eh) and our bill was right at budget and I got lots more food. I got fresh produce and chips and pretzels and two boxes of cereal and enough for six meals. So, the menu is less than exciting and I am not sharing, unless you ask.

disclaimer

That picture of Walyon and Lolly is from September. I have GOT to take some new pictures of those two!

a blur

This past week and a half went by so fast. I don't even know what we did with all our time. First we were at Joey's parents' house, then home for a day, then to Auburn for four days, with a day trip to Columbus in there, then home. I have to say, as you probably already know, Waylon was a dream. Always is. But, man is he...are we glad to be home. It really doesn't matter how accomodating our host may be or how comfortable we are wherever we go, nothing is quite like home. We're sleeping better, eating better. It's just better. And Daddy's here.

Waylon cut his second tooth while we were at Lolly's house. That's right. He just got his first one two weeks ago, and number two has already made its debut. Bless his heart. That's tough on a little guy. And he is a bonafide maniac in the process. It hasn't so much affected his nightime sleep, but his naps are almost impossible and he is crazy hyper...which is so weird for him. He's usually very chill. I guess it's hard work and he's trying to make the best of it.

Still progressing on the baby food front. It's not so bad. In Greenville, he had bananas, which he loved. In Auburn, he tried peas and threw them up everywhere. I mean, made a nasty face, gagged and threw up. Like a big person. It was traumatic for me. I must have apologized for 20 minutes. No more peas for a little while. This is his third day on applesauce and has been the best so far. I have been mixing it with cereal, but he's not a mixer, aparently. He likes it better straight up. On Saturday night, I gave him his late late feeding and on his way into the crib, he lost it...all of it. Several times. I was soaked. He was soaked. The rug was soaked all the next day. It was even more traumatic for me than the pea incident. He was fine. Went right to sleep. What a troop.

One of the highlights of our adventure this past week was a visit with Angie and her girls in Columbus. They live in the most adorable little house in a beautiful neighborhood that sits on a lovely park. Three dogs. Double jogger. Picket fence. Sand box. All stainless. I had a little envy as we pulled into the drive. Angie and I used to be inseprable and haven't seen each other in years, minus a little three hour visit about two years ago. There are several things I would give up for us to be in the same town again. I miss her. She could be anybody's best friend. And instantly. She's that good.

Angie met Waylon for the first time. I met Ruby for the first time and had lots of catching up to do with Charlotte. Waylon and Ruby are only 5 weeks apart, so I'm pretty sure they will get married.

I think Joey used to look forward to these little trips I would take without him. It's some of the only time our house is relatively quite. I'm pretty sure he hates it now. It's Waylon. It's impossible to be away from him and not miss him with all your heart. The reunion was sweet. Waylon really missed his Daddy, too.

Man, was it wonderful to spend that much time with Mom, though. First of all, I didn't have to cook or clean for almost four whole days. She just flung open the door, hugged us in and fed us to our heart's content. Her house is like being at the beach. The only down-side is not seeing the ocean when you look out the window. And she and Waylon are going to be best friends. I can tell. He adores her. He reaches for her. She sings and whistles and hums and laughs and talks with her hands. What's not to adore? She is a wonderful Mom, but she is an amazing Lolly. And she is my best friend.

partay

We had a birthday party for Grandpa last night. It was lots of fun. Seeing my parents with my child is right up there on my Most Precious Things list. Especially my dad. He is the most amazing Grandpa. He loves his boys so hard and it's so obvious. Thanks for that Dad. And happiest birthday ever. You mean the world to me.

I made baked spaghetti for dinner. It was way better than I thought it was going to be and super easy. I used jarred sauce and souped up the meat a bit as I browned it. Try it...

Jar of sauce
1lb ground meat
some chopped onion
Italian seasoning
Basil
Minced garlic
a package of mozzerella
parmesan
a package of noodles

Go ahead and make your spaghetti like you normally would, but add the chopped onion and seasonings to the meat as you brown it. Leave the pasta al dente.

Mix the noodles, sauce, meat mixture and about half the cheese all togther and spread it into a rectangle casserole. Spread the rest of the cheese on top and add some parmesan. Bake it at 350 about 20 minutes.. Delish.

We are off to Greenville today. Be back Sunday. So, I won't be around until about Monday. Have a great weekend! And, if you get a chance, check out www.babycheapskate.blogspot.com. Waylon's room is on there!

we knew

Waylon had his 6 month check up yesterday. He's perfect, just as we suspected. He weighs 19lb 7oz, which is the 50th percentile. And he's 28 1/2 inches long, which is still at the top of the chart. He couldn't be better.

The doctor said I have to add baby food back into his diet now. He's not getting adequate calories from just breast milk anymore. So, we're adding cereal...again. I think he's excited. I'm not. It's fun, but breastfeeding is just so easy. Anyway, I'm going to try making my own baby food. Don't laugh. If you've tried it and you have any words of wisdom or experience, please indulge me. Good recipe books? Tools of the trade? Do's or don't's? Cost comparison? Anything. I need to know what I'm getting into. I'm actually sort of looking forward to it.

I've just decided that I am willing to do whatever it takes...WHATEVER...to be able to stay at home with Waylon for as long as possible. If we have to eat ground beef and ramen noodles and I have to spend entire days steaming and pureeing baby food, that's what I'll do. It's worth it.

If you're following my weekly menus, I haven't made one for next week yet. We are going out of town this weekend (free food!) and I will be gone Tuesday through Friday next week, so it's kind of an off week. The only nights I will be cooking are tonight and Monday night. Dad's birthday is tonight and we're having baked spaghetti and carmel cake (mmm). Monday night, I will be making Brunswick stew per Joey's request. Never made that before, so we'll see. And, of course, I'll let you know!

Hey, and if you've tried any of these recipes, let me know!

roasted vegetable pie

Ok, this was really good. It is A LOT of prep work (for someone like me) and it's not really filling. It would do better as a complete meal if you added some ground beef. But, here it is...

1 small head of cauliflower, cut into small pieces
1 butternut squash, peeled and cubed (so hard!)
2 parsnips, peeled and chopped (I couldn't find this. I used a potato.)
1c baby carrots, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1c vegetable broth (I chicken.)
1T cornstarch
3/4t dried oregano
2T bread crumbs
2T Parmesan cheese
refrigerated pie crust

Toss all the vegetables in a little olive oil, some salt and pepper to taste and bake them at 450 for 30 minutes, stirring half way through.

Bring the broth and corn starch to a boil for 1 minute. Reduce and simmer until thick. Stir in oregano, a little salt and pepper.

Toss the vegetables in the sauce and add the bread crumbs and cheese. Pour into a pie plate (a big one) and cover with the pie crust. Bake 30 minutes at 450.

So, all together this actually takes about 1 1/2 hours, minimum.

sweetest dreams

Last night was even better than the night before. Maybe Waylon was sleeping so restlessly because he was in our room. Maybe he was trying to prompt me to move him out. I wouldn't put it past him.

Before Waylon was born, I spent lots of time in his room. Sure, I was admiring mine and Joey's handiwork and marveling at my decorating skills, but mostly I was imagining him. Imagining what he would feel like and smell like and sound like. And how irresistible he would look when he was sleeping. Sometimes, I even took naps in there, my big ole pregnant belly lying on that floor. I loved being in there because it reminded me how close I was to the life of my dreams. It reminded me that I was not in fact dreaming. This was going to happen. Soon.

The other night after dinner, as Waylon slept, Joey and I crept in to take a peek.

Awe.

There is no doubt in my mind that of all the things I've seen so far and all the things left for me to see, that will be one of the most precious. Every time I put him down to rest, I say 'sweetest dreams in all the world,' and 'I love you with my whole heart.' Just want to make sure he knows.

movin' out

The plan all along has been that Waylon would sleep in our room for 'a few months' then move to his room. I really didn't know exactly how long he would be in there with us, just until he was sleeping well through the night. Well, the time has come.

He's been sleeping through the night for a while, but he's very restless. Sometimes he even wakes up, talks and goes back to sleep. He also cries in his sleep, turns 360's, poots, laughs, among other things. He's just not a heavy sleeper. But, I knew I had to give myself a deadline, or he'd be spending his last-night-before-college right next to me. So, I set the deadline at 6 months, which arrived this past weekend.

I was a wreck. I almost cried. I didn't, but I almost did. His room shares a wall with ours, so he's not but about 20 feet away, but it feels like miles. Sunday night was the big night. I made sure his crib was ready for an all-nighter. He had his sound machine. Two night-lights. I had the monitor bedside. We were as close to ready as we were going to be. Changed him, fed him for the last time and put him in there. All alone.

He did great. He's young enough to not really know that anything's different, which was the goal. He slept about par - tossed and turned, ended up completely turned around, woke up at 5:30, finished the morning snuggled up to me. I, on the other hand, didn't sleep a wink. I was exhausted yesterday. We have a video monitor. I turned the video part off, but everytime he made a noise, I woke up and turned it on, just to make sure.

Last night was much better. He slept great. I slept great. Didn't even wake up to check on him once, that I remember. So, he's out. The move was a success. The pack-n-play still sits by my bed, in case he ever wants to come back. We'll take it down soon.

tuna noodle and meat loaves

Well, the Tuna Noodle was pretty good. It was kind of like Tuna Helper, just homemade and better for you (the recipe is from Cooking Light.) So, here it is...

8 oz egg noodles, cooked according to directions (I used whole wheat)
1/2c chopped onion
1/3c chopped carrot
2T flour
2 3/4c milk
1/2c 1/3 less fat cream cheese
salt
pepper
1c thawed frozen peas
1/4c grated Parmesan cheese
2 cans drained tuna

Start by sauteing the carrot and onion in a little olive oil over medium heat until soft. I would put the carrot in first and do this alone for a few minutes. It takes the longest. Then, of course, I didn't thaw the peas, so when I added the onion, I added the frozen peas so they were nice and soft.

Then, sprinkle in about 2T of flour and stir it around for a minute. Gradually stir in the milk and cook, whisking, about 5 minutes, until it thickens. Stir in the cream cheese, some salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring, 2 minutes, until the cheese melts. Remove from heat.

Add the noodles, Parmesan cheese and tuna. Spoon into a prepared casserole, top with a thin layer of Parmesan cheese. I actually topped it with Ritz cracker crumbs to add a little crunch. I'm a texture-mixer.

The recipe calls to broil it for 5 minutes, but mine did not get warm all the way through. You might want to bake a few minutes, then cut your oven to broil. Either way.

Last night, we were supposed to have Roasted Vegetable Pie, but I had some ground beef that I was afraid was going to up and sour on me, so I decided to skip to the meatballs. We'll go back to the pie tonight. And, confession, I started a little late, so instead of the balls, I made loaves. Same recipe, different preparation. I'll differentiate later. Here's the mix...

3/4c oats
3/4c chopped onion
3/4c milk
1 egg
1T Dale's
little salt
1t yellow mustard
2lb ground beef

sauce = 1/2c ketchup + 1/2c brown sugar

Easiest thing ever... Put it all in a big bowl. Mush it all around with your hands (mush it good). Then, you can choose if you want to make balls or loaves. For the balls, shape 'em, dredge 'em in flour, brown 'em over medium-high, put 'em in a casserole, cover 'em with sauce and bake 'em at 350 for 45 minutes.

For the loaves, shape however many loaves you want, bake 'em at 350 for 45 minutes, pull 'em out and cover 'em with sauce, then return 'em for another 5 to 7.
** Most people make a single meat loaf. Thing is, this takes way longer to bake. So, I have started making several smaller loaves. They bake quicker. They're cuter. They're a perfect way to serve this recipe to several people, just make as many loaves as the servings you need.

I served the loaves with instant mashed potatoes and frozen broccoli. The leftovers make yummy sandwiches, just add a little BBQ sauce. Mmm.

toothed

Waylon got a tooth! He turned 6 months old yesterday and got a tooth for his half-birthday! I was so excited. I was lying on the floor next to him. He was chewing on my finger and all of a sudden, I felt it. I almost did a cartwheel. I'm so proud of my boy. He's been working on that tooth and we didn't even know it. He's been just as happy as ever...well, almost. He has a couple of crazy days with traces of fussiness and sleepless nap times and abnormal hyperactivity, but other than that... I'm just so proud. A tooth. He's also...

decided rolling over's not all it's cracked up to be
really over just lying around (he's convinced he could run if we'd just put him down)
making p's and b's
decided 'with the flow' is the best way to go. People comment on how happy and easy
he is all the time and they're right. I'm spoiled.
jumping and shaking a mean Elvis leg
becoming more interested in other little people (esp Locke)
grabbing, hitting, scratching
sucking his thumb
wondering what we're eating and drinking (though we still haven't gone back to
cereal)
growing his hair out
enjoying our walks and runs more
flirting
preaching to his ugly doll mobile and Charlie bunny and anyone who will listen
completely fascinated with Stella (which is good. She needed a new friend.)

He's also started doing the cutest little cuddley, kissy thing with my face after I burp him. He puts his hands on each cheek and nuzzles me. I could sit nose to nose with him all day long. It melts me.

Lolly came this weekend and when I told her we were supposed to have tuna noodle for dinner on Friday, she offered to stop and get some chicken to grill and potatoes to roast. Slight detour, but we're back on for tuna noodle tonight. I'll report tomorrow. We did have a wonderful weekend with her, though. Waylon adores her. She's so crazy and funny. And her hair is wild.

On Saturday, I hit a couple more consignment sales with Kristen (sweet neighbor friend.) Super success - 15 pieces of clothing for $18. These sales happen twice a year and last about a month. I'm trying to get enough clothes to get him through to the next sale season (which will be fall/winter.) So, between last weekend and this weekend and Joey's sweet friend at work that keeps giving us boxes of clothes, he's got 9, 12, 18 and 24 month clothes for spring/summer. Hope that lasts.

Then, Saturday afternoon, we went over to Aunt Dinah's house where Waylon got to meet his Uncle Emmett for the first time. They liked each other. Waylon laid a big wet kiss right on Aunt Dinah's cheek.

Looking forward to a great week this week. We've got doctor's appointments and play dates and dinner dates. Should be good.

Right now I've got a fresh pot of coffee whispering my name.

home run

Tourtiere. Yum. Come to find out, it's a traditional meal that dates back to the Middle Ages. No wonder. It's delish. I had two bowls tonight. So, here's the recipe.

1 pound ground meat (I used beef)
tsp salt
1/2tsp cinnamon
1/8tsp ground red pepper
1/8tsp ground cloves (I didn't use this. It's way too expensive.)
1 potato, cubed
1c chopped onion
1/2c chopped carrot
1/2c chopped celery
3 cloves minced garlic
2tbsp flour
1 1/2c chicken broth
3tbsp chives (I used dried.)
refrigerated pie crust

Brown the meat with the salt, cinnamon, red pepper and cloves. Remove from the pan.

Saute the vegetables in the same pan for about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook about a minute.

Return the meat to the pan with the vegetables. Add the flour and cook about a minute, stirring constantly.

Add the chicken broth and bring to a boil for about 2 minutes, until thickened.

Remove from heat, stir in chives and pour into a pie plate. Cover with the pie crust and bake 40 minutes at 400.

Also, my favorite cookie of the moment is this super-easy peanut butter cookie. They're actually way too easy...and way to tasty.

Mix 1c peanut butter with 1c sugar and 1 beaten egg. Spoon the little mounds onto a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for about 10-12 minutes. Wah-la.

You should know that though there are only two people in our family eating these meals, I always cook for at least four. First of all, you never know who might stop by for dinner. Second of all, Joey eats dinner for at least one and a half every night and takes leftovers for lunch every day.

The crock pot BBQ was heavenly as well. Just a pound of chicken breasts, 1c BBQ sauce, some sliced onion and a little extra brown sugar. Cooked it on low about 5 hours. Served it with cornbread and some vegetables. Scarffed it down.

what's for dinner

So, due to the inclement weather (read - it's too cold and windy today), Waylon and I decided after our little dog walk this morning that we would go to the grocery tomorrow instead. It's just too yuck. (Side note: We're trying yet another store. I think it's a Food World, here in Moody. Joey thinks it's the solution to the ongoing grocery budget issue. As usual, I'll let you know.)

Since I usually grocery shop on Wednesdays, I plan my weekly menu from Wednesday to Wednesday. Seems like my friends are always talking about sharing and trying new recipes, so I thought I would share the menu for this week.

Tonight, I'm trying crock pot BBQ chicken with corn bread and frozen mixed vegetables (the good ones, not veg-all).

Thursday: Tourtiere (spiced meat pie). This is new. I'll let you know.

Friday: Tuna noodle casserole. Also a new recipe. Also will let you know.

Saturday: Burgers on the grill and souped-up mac and cheese (yum!)

Sunday: Baked Ziti and salad.

Monday: Roasted vegetable Pie. New.

Tuesday: Meatballs with mashed potatoes and a green veg, maybe green beans.

I find my grocery shopping most efficient and my evenings less hectic when I have a menu to follow. And, I am always on the look-out for a new yummy recipe.

Just so you know, and you probably already do, Joey and I are on some kind of tight grocery budget. Also, I am on a never-ending mission to transform Joey into a health-conscious eater. So, not all of our meals are the lowest fat (obviously) but I try to choose things that he likes and tweak them to be a little healthier than he would expect. Then, when he says it's delicious, I reveal. Tricky, huh? Not to mention the fact that I usually have a 6-month-old baby on my hip whilst doing said cooking, so everything I make is relatively quick (or requires some planning ahead) and easy-ish.

So, if you also appreciate somewhat healthy, realtively quick and easy dinners, try mine! Whenever I happen upon a recipe worth keeping, I'll post it for you to try, too.

And let me know.

bunny wabbit

hebrews 4.12-13

'God's word is alive and working and is sharper than a double-edged sword. It cuts all the way into us, where the soul and the spirit are joined, to the center of our joints and bones. And it judges the thoughts and feelings in our hearts. Nothing in all the world can be hidden from God. Everything is clear and lies open before him, and to him we must explain the way we have lived.'

hello march

Don't you love the first day of a new month? I sure do. It's like, 'It's ok, here. Here's a new one. You can start over!' Thanks! On that note, our budget happens to be going much better than expected. Why wouldn't it be by now, you may be wondering? It's been 2 real months and a practice month. But, it's not that easy. It's some intense accounting going on here. Every month, we have to account for every penny spent and earned and reevaluate for the following month. It's extreme Ramsey budgeting, but very worth it. We are 'living like no one else, so later we can live like no one else.'

Here's something: do you know what my dream job would be? Don't say mother. Duh.
I really am not even sure what you call it. I dream of being a voice over. Cartoon voices. Movies, shows, commercials, whatever. I would LOVE to do this. And, I would be really really good at it (toot - my horn). I used to be very into acting, and tend to be on the dramatic side. Not to mention I have been given the gift of voicing (?). I can do all these fun voices. (This is sounding weirder and weirder. Stay with me.) SO, here's a little bit of a self-plug. Can you do this anywhere? How does it work? How does one get into this? Don't do research. I can do that. But, if you happen to know someone or something off the top, fill me in. I'll give you a cut.

Consignment shopping was semi-successful this past weekend. The two that I went to were much smaller than I anticipated. I got 15 pieces for $19. Not too shabby. Hitting another one or two this weekend for a few more essentials.

Waylon used his lips to make sounds! Until now, all his sounds have been made with his tongue (you know, d, g, th, k). This is very exciting for me because it can only mean that 'ma-ma' is coming soon. He's making 'b' sounds. It has only happened twice so far and he gets stuck, right there with his little lips stuck together. 'Bbbb...'

Took the 'no phone zone' pledge with Oprah this week. I used to be a big O fan, but she has waned. I would go so far as to say that only 2 of 5 shows a week are worth my time. But, I think this is brilliant, so I participated. Just committing to not use a cell phone (talking or texting) at any time while operating a car. Makes sense, huh?

Apparently I am embracing the opportunity to challenge and change myself these days (Ramsey budget, extreme grocery saving, tv fast, second-hand vow, phone zone pledge). It's good. I am even figuring out how to unwind a little bit. In the movie 'Family Stone', Luke Wilson's character tells Sara Jessica Parker's character that it's got to be exhausting staying so tightly wound all the time. It is. I can testify. Waylon showed me, among other things, that I am OCD. I've decided to let that go. There are so many things more important than everything being cleaned and/or in its place - like my husband and my son and my God. So, I'm done. I have even been known to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink and dirty socks on the floor these days. Funny thing is, they're right there the next day, waiting on me. It's not so bad.