It has been hard. Harder than I thought. And I have cheated. And I have repented and asked forgiveness. I keep thinking if my God could hang on a cross for me, how can I not do this for 21 days? Yet, I cheat.
To my surprise (although I don't know why), I have taken a very Pharisaical approach to fasting. I love a rule and I have approached these weeks as a giant challenge - a three-week test of my will-power and rule-following ability. Probably why I've failed. In addition, I have been much more consumed with the fasting than the praying.
God has continued to be faithful. He has met me in my weakness and my failure and is speaking and teaching me new things every day.
John Piper says that fasting brings you into yourself. It reveals your insides like nothing else can. You see it. And then you either deal with it or you suffocate it again.
It's day nine now. And I'm dealing.
Praise.
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